I am super excited.
Know why?
Because it’s Tuesday. And it’s not just ANY Tuesday. Exactly four weeks from today, it is Swedish Fettisdagen, or Swedish Fat Tuesday.
** Fair warning… if you can’t handle a satirical approach to the fact that not everyone in the world believes the same thing, and that is part of what makes us wonderful, then you should probably skip ahead to the poll rather than read my interpretation of Fettisdagen. If you have a sense of humor about the world we live in however, please carry on**
Now as is my understanding based on that article, this is a national holiday where you are encouraged to eat these spectacular cakes called semla (singular) and/or semlor (plural) and if you don’t, a Mexican man called Jesus will rise from the dead as a zombie and whip you with rice sticks so that you understand why he died which is so that you can eat these cakes on this day.
The best part of this holiday, is that they start selling them 4 weeks before the sacred day so that you can stock up on them and stuff your face as not to anger the dead Mexican man by showing him that you love him by eating as many as you can. He will somehow know that you are eating them because he see you when you’re sleeping, and knows when you’re awake.
The worst part is, if you don’t eat these cakes, he will turn you into a vampire (not the fun kind) which will cause you to live forever as you are burned alive in a barbecue pit in some town called Hell but you never die because you’re a vampire.
The scariest part is, no one knows what country this is in so you don’t know if the water is safe to drink, or if you should pack your own to avoid getting diarrhea for the duration of your eternal stay.
But none of this is creepy or weird or the basis of a horror story.
**OK! It’s safe to read from here without having your feelings hurt!!!**
Anyway, you don’t need to twist my arm, Amigo. These cakes are fu*king delicious and I plan on running out and getting one as soon as I finish posting this week’s contestants for the Tuesday: Picture Poll . As a refresher as to what you’re voting on and why, you can check out The Rides, and for those even lazier than that:
Every Tuesday, I will post three photos that I have taken for you to vote on. What you are voting on, is which photo you want me to write a “smoke-long” for. Smoke-Long is another name for Flash Fiction. You can vote however your gut tells you. You can vote for the photo because it appeals to your senses, or because you want to hear what kind of warped story my brain and the voices who roam free in here tell me to write. Whatever you do, just make sure you fill in the poll at the bottom of the post. If you don’t, I can’t protect you from both of your ears likely falling off. I’m sorry, but I don’t make the rules.
Just kidding, hahahaha. Yes I do.
Right…here we go then. Please don’t forget to vote at the end.
The Cabin On The Ship
Desolation
Down This Road
The Playground 
everyone loves the knullekontainer
This is a bone fide fact… but what does this have to do with semlor? Or have you been talking to some naughty Swedish musicians that have taught you a new term for this delicious treat?
has NOTHING to do with it…. you said vote on the photos…. if anything is going to have a good story behind it, it’s likely to be the one of the boat cabin.
Bwahahahaha!
Yes. They usually do. It’s not called the Love Boat for nothing.
And as you can see, my mind is strictly focused on the semlor, in an attempt to be glutinous in the name of The Jesus.
Did you actually vote on the poll?
( btw yes, I voted! )
Sweet. And welcome to the wacky world of comments! I’ve been waiting for this day….
Ha! Nobody, but NO-BODY has to scare the livin’ bejesus outta me to eat CAKE! Its CAKE for gods sake…CAAAAKE! Oh and I voted. Muwhauaua (or however you spell an evil laugh)
So in an Eddie Izzard cake or death scenario, you would choose…..
Erm…you have Eddie Izzard and Cake in the same sentence? Oh dear…. Can I have a dead Ed and keep the cake? Cheers 😀
:-O You don’t like Eddie Izzard???
You can still have cake even if you don’t like him,but I cannot allow his death.
*rolls eyes* I don’t like ANY comedians to be honest. Except Peter Kaye – but then its only because I like his accent. However, if Eddie Izzard is the guy who ran all the marathons, then I admire him for that, and perhaps will spare his life. Providing I (or we your loyal followers) get pics of Swedish Fat Cake week. 😀
He did. He’s also an open transsexual who performs in heels and has fabulous nails.
And you shall receive pictures….oh yes. You will receive pictures 😛
I’m all for heels and nails on anyone (except me, of course, ha!). Nothing against it. I just found the Cake & Death Video on YT a minute ago….
Pretty good, right?
Hm, I always seem to vote for the one that no one else does. I’m choosing to think it’s because I’m special 🙂
Also, thank you for remembering and catering to the lazy among us.
Also, maybe Eddie Izzard IS The Jesus?
No, it’s John Tuturro.
😛
I meant it in an existential way.
Saw Eddie live a couple years ago. That was priceless!
I know. I was being a smartass in a smartass kind of way ;-).
I wish I had seen a show a couple of years ago. I saw him last January (2013). I really wanted to love it as I have loved everything else he’s done, but that was my first time catching him live. The first half was, meh. The second half was better, and he ended on a high note bringing back some of his old characters (cake or death, and Jeff Vader). I purposely didn’t drink because I planned on laughing so hard that I would pee my pants and I didn’t want the added liquids.
It didn’t happen.
Aw that sucks. The show I saw went on a bit longer than it needed to, but the first 3/4 was pee-in-your-pants for sure.
I won’t give up. I’ll go until I pee my pants at a show.
You are 100% special, and don’t let anyone else sway your vote. There’d be no democrats in Texas or Florida if that were the case. It’s you choice and you vote for whichever one you find appealing. All of the photos will get a chance at having a story told about them eventually. Especially if people catch on to what I’m trying to do (become a millionaire by blogging) and vote more.
I do too!
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I voted for desolation… I am very curious to see what kind of story you can write about a single tree.
Ahh, ok. I see. This feels personal now. I’m also going to vote for Desolation.
Sorry!!! Sorry everyone..that was the unicorn.
He’s super drunk and gets mouthy.
Of course I’m not going to vote. I have no say in the outcome of this vote. There’s no fun in that. If it doesn’t win, I’ll put it in the race again.
I’d like to end on this quote from Superman II.
“I think that I shall never see, a poem lovely as a tree.”
I chose the road less traveled. But, it no longer matters what road you choose because GPS.
Fun fact. I still need to have physical directions written down on real paper with me even with GPS. I’m old school like that. Plus, you know…tunnels.
Um aren’t tunnels on GPS? Hope so! But the real question, Edward, is is the road less travelled on GPS? Cos, you know, sometimes things can get wonky.
They are, but when you’re often times driving in countries that are unfamiliar to you, with roadsigns in different languages, going through a tunnel, or driving through the mountains, can sometimes cause the GPS signal to crap out, causing a minor feeling of panic deep within my soul and white knuckle driving. It’s rare that I drive anymore anyway since moving to Europe. The public transportation system here is amazing. I’ve recently started driving the boyfriend’s car around Stockholm though and there are tunnels everywhere since it’s basically a bunch of small islands and so much happening for a city of it’s size. They’re also always building around the suburbs and sometimes forget to put up detour signs, so it can be a little challenging even if you DO know the area. Which I don’t.
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Sounds like this holiday should be called ‘Fattiesgeddon’. Holidays dedicated to cake eating….sounds like every other Tuesday for some of the many rotund Americans I know…
‘Desolation’ is pretty, but ‘Down This Road’ instantly calls to mind dystopian/zombie fanasties and it is currently not winning *whiny sounds & foot stomp*!
I
Yes, it should be. I imagine it’s only a matter of time before the ‘Muricans claim it as their own. Did you know ‘Murica invented oxygen? Water, too.
True story.
Well, I’m assuming you have voted, but it’s actually only down by two votes. You hear that people who just come here to gawk and not participate?? VOTE!!! Thetawake wants a zombie story!
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