Cat Curling Haiku

Can you guys feel the fever?

Olympic fever that is.

I’m a little bummed that they’re not showing the olympics on the basic TV channels here in Sweden. Mr.P and I decided that we’d splurge on Netflix for movies and Viaplay for sports instead of basic cable. It works well because I can watch my NHL games on Viaplay and scream at the iPad in bed at 2am when the games start while Mr.P tries to sleep.

I’m pretty sure he loves it.

angry-man-steam-650

Viaplay also has movies and  series, so it’s an added bonus to the Netflix as it shows a lot of newer films as well.

In the past, they’ve shown the olympics on one of the 4 basic Swedish channels so everyone can watch them.

Not this year. Corporate America has taken over again.

What?

America has nothing to do with this?

Are you sure?

Hmpf.

So apparently, it’s not Corporate America to blame this time, but I’m sure they’re guilty of something else right now. That’s how they roll.

This year, the olympics are being broadcast on a cable channel owned by Viaplay. The basic Swedish channels aren’t even allowed to show clips in their sports highlights.

And to top it off, the price for Viaplay has tripled for the olympics, even for regular subscribers, without warning.

Damn you Corporate America!!!

What?

Not this time either? Really?

But..I thought for sure…

Ok, then.

Mr.P has been all about the skiing while I have been anxiously awaiting the hockey.

While looking through the olympic events that I wanted to watch and planning my day around it, I saw that curling was on the agenda.

I had never really understood curling. Mr.P is a sports junkie and will watch just about anything. He took the time to explain it to me. As usual, when he does that and I’m really not interested, my mind wandered and I stopped listening and came up with instead, a genius idea that I blogged about just over a year ago.

Tired of cleaning your own house like a sucker? Well suck no more. Call:

1-800-Curlers

You’ll have to click on the link for the full pitch. You won’t regret it.

I thought this would be a guaranteed hit. It was so genius, and beneficial to everyone. Out of work curlers have a high suicide rate when they’re not sweeping. It was a win-win.

But then I saw this last night, and my mind was blown.

Holy crap you guys. How is this not a sport??? Is it because of Corporate America???

Gah! I knew it!!!

And how do we make it happen immediately? Crowd funding? Worldwide petition? Buying everyone on the olympic committee cats? 

This sport needs to be a reality.

Now.

And that is this week’s haiku inspiration.

cat olympics

Gliding down the ice.

Watch out for that hairball puke!

My pussy won gold.

What?

My pussy cat you perverts. I only have 5 syllables to work with in that line.

Just a reminder, we’re coming to the home stretch for the picture poll voting. Remember, it only takes a second and you’ll be saving the live of a child.

A hedgehog child baby. A baby hedgehog. Just go vote, dammit.

Also in case you missed yesterday’s posts which included me performing culinary suicide while drinking a bottle of wine, and a sordid tale of love starring Neil Peart of Rush, Ricky Schroeder and a horse named Mittens.

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5 responses to “Cat Curling Haiku

    • Right!? We need to make this a reality.
      I’ve watched it a few times now. It gets better each time. Did you notice the purring at the beginning?
      Hilarious.

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