Warning: Keep reading for some sweet gratuitous Valentine’s Day porn.
Right. I know you all think I’m being lazy, but the last couple of days have been just a bit more busy than normal.
And by busy, I mean, lazy.
The past few days I’ve been a bit more lazy than usual.
So you were right.
It’s not like I have been neglecting you. You’ve received such gripping tales as my first crush involving a love triangle with Rickey Schroeder, Neil Peart and a horse named Mittens (ok, so it’s a love square). Or my latest genius scam on how to get kids to not start smoking by scaring them with threats of being fat, not boring health risks.
No folks, I’m still blogging, but the truth is, I’m not really feeling the prompts over at the photo challenge in the 2 hours I’m out of the apartment a day.
I could post this photo for Day 13’s prompt of “Mail” with this:
This is generally what my mailbox looks like on any given day when I wake up.
So, forgive me if I’m not overly keen on thinking about how to portray that in a photo.
But then I got this e-mail from a friend who knows about my 5:2 asshole diet:
As mentioned in my previous post today, Mr.P is on tour, meaning I have “me time”. Don’t get me wrong. We get along splendidly. He’s my best friend and soul mate and I couldn’t think of anyone else I’d rather be with 24/7 as we both work from home in a studio apartment (Johnny Depp), but I’m just as thankful when I get my “me time” just as I’m sure he is when I’m on tour and he has the place to himself.
Which incidentally, happens to be the prompt for today’s challenge.
On Valentine’s Day.
Me time for me varies. I lived by myself for so long and had never thought about me time too much until I didn’t really have it anymore. So basically, to me, it means free range of the apartment and doing stuff I don’t get a chance to do too often in such a small space.
That means drinking some wine, playing MY music and skyping with my friends and family, without headphones, who reside all over the world while they drink over the computer screen with me so I don’t seem like a raging alcoholic.
Time for another me time thing. Cooking with wine, and by that, I mean cooking while drinking wine.
I had to try these…whatever they are.
I have no applesauce but what I did have, were fresh apples and a hand blender and a water tap.
Just cut up the apples, add some water to the container, and mash. Presto! Applesauce.
I also only had 2 bananas (not 3) and vanilla sugar, rather than the vanilla liquid I assumed they meant.
I used 80% dark chocolate chips instead of raisins. If the reason why needs to be explained, get off my page.
So, let me start by saying, that the consistency is SUPER wet. I have no idea if it’s supposed to be like this, but I went ahead and plopped them down on the baking paper.
About 10 minutes into the baking process, I remembered that the baking paper we have SUCKS.
I quickly transferred everything to foil, losing about 1/4 of the batter to the shitty baking paper.
After an additional 7 minutes, these slop piles were still really soft and moist, but I pulled them off thinking that maybe they’d harden once they got some air.
(This concludes the gratuitous sweet Valentine’s Day porn portion of the post. I hope you enjoyed yourself.)
Here’s what the foil looked like after scraping the thingies off (pictures have not been touched up for your protection):
I know. Not pretty.
This next photo is an actual, untouched up version of the end result on a beautiful plate.
**WARNING: May not be suitable for culinary snobs.
But let’s be REALLY honest. Unless we’re competing to be the next Master Chef, for a Friday night, alone, at home, just for myself..what it looks like isn’t important. It’s how it tastes that matters.
Not so great.
I mean, they’re not awful.
But I wouldn’t recommend them.
Let’s just say next time I have me time and wine, I will go with my gut and just make chocolate chip cookies when I’m craving something and want to involve my oven… who likely feels violated now after producing such sludge.
**My oven is a bit of a snob and perfectionist..not me though. Nmm-nm. No way. It’s the oven.**
So it is with great pride, that I present to you, Days 13 and 14: Mail and Me Time.
Yes, that’s a squashed penguin stuffed animal behind the pillow. But that’s a post for another time.
Maybe you just needed more wine? Though this looks like the type of recipe I have to make for myself, given my food hell, and I can save you the suspense and effort by telling you now that wine actually doesn’t help that much. Not even lots of wine. But have some anyway 🙂
Also, squashed penguin = good story inspiration.
Next time, throw a little wine in the recipe too.
It’ll make them easier (and more rewarding!) to eat. 😉
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My god! You should be arrested for crimes against culinary decency. At least you can be thankful that you had alcohol on hand to wash them down.
Next time, I suggest you stick to the booze and just order a pizza.
I, unfortunately think, this is exactly how they were supposed to come out. I think the photo behind the recipe is something completely different. With no flour or baking soda, and way more wet ingredients than dry, there’s no way there were turning out any different.
That said, your suggestion is spot on and I shall heed this advice with great pleasure in the future 😀