So I was watching curling today….

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.. and it occurred to me that

A.) I really need to scrub the floors, and

B.) I have just come up with a brilliant marketing idea.

You see, there’s a lot of, what looks to me, like scrubbing, or sweeping involved in the sport of curling. I’ve seen this sport before. I’m sure that most of you have. I’m also sure that quite a few of you have no idea what the sport is all about. I mean, I’ve seen it a few times now and it’s not like they’re curling to sold out houses, if you know what I mean. We know there’s a lot of yelling, there’s some big shiny rock with a handle, and what appears to be some seriously intense scrubbing in front of the shiny rock with the handle, while it glides across the ice to a giant bullseye.

Luckily, Mr.P is a sports junkie and quite literally knows the rules of every single sport known to man, and probably a few others unknown to man. He explained to me what the objective of the game was and what the scrubbing and sweeping was all about. Now that I understood the actual objective, it became mildly entertaining to watch. But I couldn’t stop thinking about the scrubbing. By the way, sorry to the curlers that may be reading this for butchering the proper terminology of your craft.

Yes…the scrubbing. As mentioned, my first thought when watching these super intense group of gals, was “Damn, it really has been a while since I mopped the kitchen. I should probably do that tomorrow, as well as the wooden floors in the living room. That spilled coffee near the kitchen table from 3 weeks ago has proven to me that it is not going to clean itself. Ok spill… you win this round..”

Then my mind started wandering to how much I loathe mopping and how great it would be to just hire someone to do it for me. And then, almost as quickly as the two thoughts merged it became crystal clear to me what I need to do.

I need to start The Curling Cleaning Service.

Yes folks, that’s right. Tired of cleaning up after yourself and your disgusting, selfish family who would sooner have bamboo shoved under their fingernails than put their coffee cup in the dishwasher? Or is your house just dirty because you are lazy and lack basic motivational techniques and don’t feel like cleaning? Call 1-800-Curlers. Here at The Curling Cleaning Service, we’ll send over a team of our professional curlers who are serious about sweeping up your mess…and not just under the carpet the way your kids do it. Need that top shelf dusted? Not a problem. Our pro curlers come equipped with all sizes of their sweeping tools, so tackling that dust is never a problem. Watch as our curlers sweep, vacuum, dust, and scrub in swift, intense professional curling fashion. By calling 1-800-Curlers, you’re also allowing our teams to get in some extra training for upcoming competitions. So why wait? Call 1-800-Curlers today and allow us to send you over one of our professional Curling Teams. Please specify male or female teams. Gold medalists not included.

I’m pretty sure I’m going to make a fortune from this idea.

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9 responses to “So I was watching curling today….

  1. Pingback: Cat Curling Haiku | The Playground·

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