Extremely depressing self-portraits.

*** Third time’s the charm, right? Hopefully this post, is the one that will finally live here. Once again, having deja vu? Don’t worry, you’re not in The Matrix. I’m just working out some quirks here as I figure out this blog thing. Thank you for your continued patience.***

I’m always hesitant posting my artwork. Let me make this abundantly clear… I cannot draw. No, seriously. If someone said, “Draw something amazing, or we’ll kill you,” I’d be in big, big trouble. A couple of years ago, I was going through a bit of a rough patch with work life and relationship life. One is hard enough to deal with on its own, but when they both hit HARD at the same time, it’s pretty unbearable. I needed an outlet for all of my sadness, anger, and most of all frustration.. A friend of mine was going through similar issues and had picked up some acrylic paints and canvas. I saw what she was creating, and felt inspired to give it a chance, if for nothing else than to vent out all of the negative energy I had building up.

I’m happy to share with you, for whatever it means, my very first pieces. All of the pieces that I’ll be posting (over the next few days) were knocked out quite fast, actually. Sometimes 3 or 4 a day. It was literally flowing out of me onto the canvas.

This was my very first self-portrait. I have always loved mixed mediums. I even included all of my piercings at the time, hehe. The tears are little (fake) diamonds, and the childlike “WHEN?”, is underlined with some metal wire.

“TAKEN”

Portrait number two… watching the beautiful things get swept away from me as soon as they are within reach.

“UNANSWERED”

Perhaps the most personal self-portrait of them all. Ripping out my own heart, presenting it with it’s walls half built up and half torn  down. Bandaged, stitched, patched. Naked and vulnerable. The key, within reach, hindered with questions.

“CRIED YOU A RIVER”

Now as claimed, I am no artist. I have no drawing skills, which is why for self-portrait number 4, my chest is particularly perky and shelf-like. Honestly,  you could easily balance a few books on that rack. Poor cleavage drawing skills aside, this one is quite obvious. After thousands of tears shed, I had felt like I had cried enough to form a dark river.

“SAVE ME”

Final self-portrait from my, now looking back, extremely depressing self-portrait painting session. This one was actually inspired by an advertisement I had seen. Well, the door was anyway. I think it was for Bvlgari. There was a piece of furniture with some amazing detail painted on it, sharing the ad with what was no doubt, a fabulous bag. As for the tattered fairy version of myself…it just seemed right. I felt like I was starting to get the knack of it after this one, and also had felt like this was enough of the self-pittying self-portraits and moved on to other subjects after this.

The thing about this piece, is it can be portrayed one of two ways depending on if it is horizontal or vertical. Horizontally, as above, looks like she is floating on a door in a black ocean, waiting to be rescued.

Vertically, as below, looks like she is trapped in a room, listening for her chance to escape.

“SAVE ME”

So there it is… my very first attempts at painting. Over the next few days I will share with you some of my other art and projects. Remember, art is an individual thing. Something that may look terrible to you, may be beautiful to someone else, just as someone’s junk can be someone else’s treasure. Don’t ever be afraid to create or share your feelings with the world. Feel free to comment or share some of your art with me. I hope you weren’t too offended by my enormous painted rack, or naked painted boob.

All rights reserved. No copying or using for selfish, personal gain without permission and a cut of the fame and fortune. Got it, buster?  ®,©, AND ™. Yeah, that’s right!

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